Now, it may seem pessimistic at first, but I assure you it's not. See - I don't hate the holiday - I just don't get excited about it and I'm not a huge partier, singing aud lang syne never appeals, and wishing everyone around me a happy new year usually just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. And it's pretty much the same wherever I am.
I'd suppose I'd sleep through it if I didn't always feel so guilty that I was letting both myself and the world down that I didn't make an effort to be awesome. And so every year I try to make an effort to be excited only to end up sober, bored and half asleep by 11.30 every time. Being in my early twenties, that practically makes me a unicorn.
Sitting in the pub in London around the corner from Trafalgar Square with less than an hour to go until the fireworks explode on Southbank and the new year begins, I'm pretty much ready for bed. And yet I feel like a failure for not 'making the most' of my New Year's Eve in London. Weird, right?
And no one can say that I don't make the most of my time in London. I spend every waking moment enjoying the city from every breath to blink. It really bodes a question about society and the pressure to celebrate New Year's Eve a certain way, and that people like me go against the grain by not conforming to that picture.
I had a great day - went out to lunch, to a musical, for drinks, for a three course dinner and then more drinks. You can't say I didn't celebrate. But it's cold, busy and crazy in London tonight so I think I'll get into bed rather than get my drink on more and stand around to watch the fireworks. Like every year I'm just not that fussed.
Maybe one day I will be - but it hasn't come yet.
I don't even have any New Years resolutions - I just didn't bother to make any. What for anyway? To not keep them? Why not just take the year as it comes and enjoy it while it's happening? Be a good person every year, be healthy if you want to be, get a little crazy, meet new people, go on adventures, try something new. Don't just stick a resolution to yourself and expect it to work out; you have to make it happen, you know.
So I didn't make any - I didn't write anything down. I'll do what I want to, be the person I want to be and make the most of it without a list of impossible tasks to guide me to my yearly failure.
This year I'll give up chocolate, lose 20kg and run a marathon? Please. This year I'll meet a man? I'll get right on that. This year I won't buy anything I don't need? Uh huh.
Baby steps, go with the flow. It's good to have goals in life, but New Years resolutions are stupid - they don't come true just because you made them. Just be yourselves and work hardto reach your goals every year like it's your last, not because it's a new year.
Don't give me that 'new year, new me' bullshit. Just be the best you can be every year.
And on that note it's time for bed, see you next year!