Sunday, February 12, 2017

What did they say?

I like to go see psychics sometimes and have readings done, usually by Tarot. I can be skeptical sometimes, as can we all, and sometimes I genuinely just choose to either heed or ignore their advice. That's my perogative. 

I went yesterday with a friend for fun, but the moment I walked in and the psychic cut the deck he cut straight to the heart. He told me that I was seeing someone that whilst cared about me was keeping things way too close to his chest, and that he wouldn't be able to give me what I wanted soon enough. He told me that there was someone else, not too far away, that was everything I had always wanted and would be that everything for me. 

I can't even begin to properly describe how that made me feel - I was happy to hear for once that the person was finally, supposedly, around the corner. But at the same time a little heartbroken because this person that I'm seeing is important to me. I feel so strongly about him and I already knew that he wouldn't be able to give me everything right now - that wasn't news to me. Yet even so I wanted to help him, and I wanted to be with him when he was ready. I sort of love him already. 

How can I just leave on this fantastical whim that someone else is supposed to be better for me? 

There were some other things that he said as well, relating to my moving house and all which was correct, but I don't want to just give up on this person I care about. The idea of that hurts too much. 

Now that I have managed to successfully better control my anxiety where my 'relationship' is concerned, I don't want to keep this stuff in my head to mess me around. I am committed to having faith in my future and giving this man the space he needs without pushing him. He knows what I feel and where I stand, maybe not to the degree, but he knows. 

He might not be my forever, but he's my right now and I want to give it everything that I have. I don't just quit on people because they can't meet my expectations right away. 

Sam xox

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