He's Just Not that Into You
Here is a film, with a very important message, that all women (and probably men as well) should watch from time to time. And not only is the message one that we probably all relate too, but the film is good as well; it's funny and heartbreaking and true to form with a beautiful collection of favourite actors and actresses from Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin to Scarlett Johansen and Bradley Cooper to Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston and Ben Afleck (I actually like all these people, btw).
The message is still the most important part, however, and the film opens with the little white lies that mothers, friends and sisters have been telling us since we were old enough to fancy a guy: he likes you but....And whilst all the buts are generally well-meant and from the heart (maybe he is just super busy and can't have a relationship right now, maybe he does like you too much to tie himself down, maybe he does have issues from a past relationship he doesn't know how to get past) the unfortunate crux of the matter is that if a guy likes you - he'll let you know in his own time.
Even if that can seem like goddamn forever!
I'm guilty of these things too, I'm not a perfect example of modern woman who doesn't beat around the bush; I've said these things to my friends, and I've believed them, too. I've sat there and wondered why a guy I liked hasn't texted me (calling is not really my thing, it makes me feel too awkward) or why when he seems all efforts to the contrary he won't take a chance on me as his girlfriend. There are other examples, and other unfortunate situations, but the sad truth is sometimes we just pussyfoot around the things that we don't want to accept and one of those things is more often than not he's probably just not that into you.
There are exceptions - but they're rarer than we want to think. A guy will call you if he wants to call you, and if a guy is treating you like he doesn't care then unfortunately it's probably because he doesn't care.
For the most part we are all the rule. I was told recently that 'fairytales don't exist' and that's the rule. The exception to the rule would be to have a fairytale romance or some sort of love story out of a rom-com. But exceptions are rare - there are no loopholes and there are no instant replays or volleys. But I don't think that it should be incentive to stop hoping - no way.
And the same goes for men, too. Sometimes women just aren't into certain men either. No ifs and/ or buts.
All these things considered I have my own rule that I have always lived by and it allies rather nicely with the just not that into you one. My rule is this: don't go for second best. I don't want to go for someone I'm only half interested in, and I would be insulted to think that I was someone's second choice. I think that every one deserves the best - that's not wrong. And if you don't feel that each other is the best then maybe it's time to move on?
I've been single since my last reincarnation and it's not because I've never had the opportunity to be with someone, I've met plenty of people over the years, but if I haven't felt it and gotten it in return then I let the opportunity pass me by. I know a lot of people would say I was letting potentially good things just float on by, but I stand by my decisions. I don't usually make them lightly, and in the pursuit of happiness all people just try to do their best for themselves and others. And I don't think that getting into a relationship with someone I'm just not that into is particularly going to make me or him all that happy.
So if I'm single into my next reincarnation that will kind of suck, but at least I stood by my beliefs and I won't have launched myself into a relationship just so I won't be alone. Alone doesn't necessarily equal loneliness.
I remain optimistic and see the world through my rose-coloured glasses, but if I never meet someone who I really like and who feels the same then that's just the way it is.
The message is still the most important part, however, and the film opens with the little white lies that mothers, friends and sisters have been telling us since we were old enough to fancy a guy: he likes you but....And whilst all the buts are generally well-meant and from the heart (maybe he is just super busy and can't have a relationship right now, maybe he does like you too much to tie himself down, maybe he does have issues from a past relationship he doesn't know how to get past) the unfortunate crux of the matter is that if a guy likes you - he'll let you know in his own time.
Even if that can seem like goddamn forever!
I'm guilty of these things too, I'm not a perfect example of modern woman who doesn't beat around the bush; I've said these things to my friends, and I've believed them, too. I've sat there and wondered why a guy I liked hasn't texted me (calling is not really my thing, it makes me feel too awkward) or why when he seems all efforts to the contrary he won't take a chance on me as his girlfriend. There are other examples, and other unfortunate situations, but the sad truth is sometimes we just pussyfoot around the things that we don't want to accept and one of those things is more often than not he's probably just not that into you.
There are exceptions - but they're rarer than we want to think. A guy will call you if he wants to call you, and if a guy is treating you like he doesn't care then unfortunately it's probably because he doesn't care.
For the most part we are all the rule. I was told recently that 'fairytales don't exist' and that's the rule. The exception to the rule would be to have a fairytale romance or some sort of love story out of a rom-com. But exceptions are rare - there are no loopholes and there are no instant replays or volleys. But I don't think that it should be incentive to stop hoping - no way.
And the same goes for men, too. Sometimes women just aren't into certain men either. No ifs and/ or buts.
All these things considered I have my own rule that I have always lived by and it allies rather nicely with the just not that into you one. My rule is this: don't go for second best. I don't want to go for someone I'm only half interested in, and I would be insulted to think that I was someone's second choice. I think that every one deserves the best - that's not wrong. And if you don't feel that each other is the best then maybe it's time to move on?
I've been single since my last reincarnation and it's not because I've never had the opportunity to be with someone, I've met plenty of people over the years, but if I haven't felt it and gotten it in return then I let the opportunity pass me by. I know a lot of people would say I was letting potentially good things just float on by, but I stand by my decisions. I don't usually make them lightly, and in the pursuit of happiness all people just try to do their best for themselves and others. And I don't think that getting into a relationship with someone I'm just not that into is particularly going to make me or him all that happy.
So if I'm single into my next reincarnation that will kind of suck, but at least I stood by my beliefs and I won't have launched myself into a relationship just so I won't be alone. Alone doesn't necessarily equal loneliness.
I remain optimistic and see the world through my rose-coloured glasses, but if I never meet someone who I really like and who feels the same then that's just the way it is.
All's fair in love and war.
Sam xox
Comments
Post a Comment