Jump

Sometimes you will just have a sudden moment of clarity, or at least something that changes your mind very quickly. 

For some people it's when smoking marijuana, for some after an orgasm, for some it's whilst drunk, and for others it's something a lot simpler like after exercise of any kind. Now I don't smoke, have never had an orgasm, and tend to either cry or giggle when I'm drinking so for me those moments of absolute clarity come few and far between.

Last night I spent the evening either speaking to or being ignored by a few different men. I liked all of them (hated to like one in particular), when right in the middle of things something just clicked in my brain and I really just didn't want to talk after that. 

It was odd that I actually felt myself do a 180 turn in about a split second I went from lighthearted fun to stone cold sober and actually feeling a huge draw away. None of these men repulse me but I was so opposite to what I had been only moments before that I almost felt repulsed. This morning I can't shake the feeling.

For all intents and purposes it might be a good thing, but I don't think I could bring myself to speak to any of them today. I don't know how to describe it any better but it's like I need to get as far away from men in that context as humanly possible.

Sam xox