Angkor Wat: Cambodia Kampuchea Part Two

There are no proper words to adequately put into words the way it felt to walk through the temples of Angkor Wat in the dark through puddles in effective silence. To arrive before the main structure just as the sun began to rise and to find myself standing before this:

  

Breathtaking, spiritual, unbelievable. It felt like a pilgrimage to a place of sanctuary and quiet like I've felt before in Lascaux...even with the other tourists and selfie sticks crowding around. But after I glared at one women encroaching on my space no one bothered me again and I was able to remain content. It truly was a spiritual experience and the entire time we spent at the Angor complex over the following two days I was happy despite the heat and missed archaeology like hell. 

Contrary to popular belief, Angkor isn't just one temple and actually consists of hundreds of temples across a large area in Siem Reap throughout the juggles. They were built between the 9th and 15th centuries and each time period does have stylistic differences. The three major temples complexes that most will be familiar with include Angor Wat (see the sunrise picture above), Angkor Thom (probably my favourite), and Ta Prohm (or Bayon, or the Jungle temple). All three have featured prominitely in people's visits to Angkor, visual imagery from the area and generally what they'll show in films such as Tomb Raider. You know those iconic images of Lara Croft drop rolling through the ruins? That's the one. 

 

 

It had been my dream for ages to come to Angkor and see the temples, reenact out scenes from Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones as well, but most importantly to really reconnect with myself as an archaeologist and historian. It really was like balm for the soul.

I mentioned sunrises and possibility last time, and as a matter of fact from arriving in Siem Reap and spending so much time wandering through the ruins of what felt like archaeologist Disneyland I felt reborn. In a sense I let something die on the road from Phnom Penh and found closure. I gained perspective and I feel like a better person, a weight off my shoulders. 

And temple raiding wasn't the only thing that made me feel so at home, so completely in my element. We had massages, we went to the night markets, had a night out in Pub street at the Angkor What? Bar and the Temple Club (in case you didn't know I really love themed bars), relaxed by the pool, went for a quad bike run through the rice paddies of the countryside, and to the Phare Circus. I recommend all of these things and I would happily spend much more time doing just this. Even as hot and humid as it was I would have happily stayed for weeks longer in Siem Reap slowly rebuilding myself and relaxing. You could say Ive reaped what I've sown and if someone could have handed me an adventure suit and a pith helmet I'd have never stopped living in my imperial fantasy land. Why should I have? 

Between the Phare Circus and the New Hope, both institutions designed to education young Cambodians and offer them the opportunity for a better life, my time in Siem Reap brought a more positive perspective than Phnom Penh had - rather than perspective from the past there was vision for the future and the good person I want to continue to be. I prayed in the temples (not hypocritical because I am spiritual, just not religious) and I donated plenty of what I had to the people who so obviously needed it more than I. I asked the monks for blessings and the ties back on my wrists remind me of the wishes I made and peace of mind I asked for. If I can, by supporting the Cambodian people, try to bring an ounce of that to them then I will consider to have done the right thing. I can't donate everything I have but I can do my best to help when possible - everyone has a cause, right? 

Alongside my Amazon rainforest conservation dream I would like to come back to Cambodia and help the people more. How exactly I'm not sure, but I want to do something down the track. I keep saying that I have a purpose in life and maybe one of these adventures will lead me right to it - even if I never realise what it is. Maybe something that I do or say will end up being necessary to someone who does change the world even if I am not the one to change it. 

When I think back on it I can't believe I was even for a moment so upset about a man leaving me who was so obviously wrong for me. He wasn't for me, and all negative things i could say about it aside I really did know better. I wanted it so much because i thought it could be that which I have always wanted more than anything, but now I am ashamed of how I felt. Why even bother? It hurt and I was angry, but why cry over spilt milk anymore? The tarot cards, when I go to see someone, never predicts love in my future. They have however on occasion told me that I need a strong man in my life for that to work although I haven't come across one yet but why settle for a half-assed romance when I could dedicate my life to spreading out the incredible amount of love and passion that I have to help those less fortunate? Why waste any more time and energy on someone who brings nothing positive to me? Hang him, he can keep his untalented new girlfriend, and I don't need his watered down friendship or his patronising hippy comments. I am many things but a vigilante has always been one of them - I don't forgive those I don't deem to deserve it until I think they actually do. I'm a good person and I would fight to my death for what I believe in but I'm no Buddhist monk - I don't always channel my zen or a higher power to forgive all. I'm too human. Maybe one day I will, it wouldn't be the first time that years later I have reached a point when I can. Just in this situation not right now and I am not ascended so high that I can or actually care to. Some say life is too short to hold grudges, but I say that life is too short to read bad books and give your time to those that don't deserve it. Rant it out and file it away until you forget all about it in time. 

I want to retain my passion not ascend beyond it. Use it to save the world one UNESCO world heritage site at a time. 

Sam xox