Feelgood Fiji

I’m not the most supremely patient person in the world, so getting over my broken heart feels like it’s taking a century.

In reality it was still not even 2 months really, but it feels like its been so long already that on that days that I feel upset I’m hard on myself thinking that I shouldn’t be anymore. 

I’m writing this pool side at our resort in Fiji wearing my sunglasses hoping that my friends won’t notice that I’ve started to cry.

Why am I still finding it so hard? Why do I still miss him so much? 

I’m in Fiji to have a good time, have some R&R and feel better. It’s #feelgoodFiji.

How long is this supposed to take me? I can’t handle it. 

I had a bad dream last night too about how my ex is rebounding and that he’s just forgotten all about me already. Our break up has brought so many good opportunities for me, like Fiji, new friends and so much more that hasn’t even been realised yet. As much as it hurts it’s a good thing - so why do I still feel so sad? How long will it be before I can reflect and not find things so painful? 

All I can really do about it is keep doing what I’m already doing, and just hope that as time goes on it’s going to get easier and easier. 

Fiji has been great so far though. It’s beautiful, way nicer than Bali for sure and it’s been so relaxed. There’s plenty for us to do and we will, but so far all I’ve done is have some drinks, have food, sit by the pool and swim and wander around. 

I wish I was staying longer. 

Sam xox