When someone asks 'how are you?' Our response is acceptably 'not bad', 'OK', 'fine', 'good', but if you were to be actually honest and say something along the lines of 'I'm feeling rather sad today' it's not alright. You'll find people don't want to hear it. It's all well and good when you're feeling happy and positive and great as I am perhaps 90% of the time nowadays, but that other 10%?
Is it truly such a mystery how so many people are diagnosed with Depression, Bipolar, and similar? Not to me.
I used to think I was a diagnosis away from that because I would get so down sometimes that yes over time I lost friendships because people don't always want to hear it even if you need to say it. My magic beans and wholefoods have helped me astronomically - and now I've reached that amazing 90/10 space where my way of thinking about life is so much healthier. I want to give that to everyone - not that it can cure illnesses like Depression or Bipolar but it certainly helps. My moods swing far less than they used to and the 'bright side' is where I mostly sit.
There are those you can't really take to heart to much when they lie. Politicians for one are known for empty promises and grand ideas that never follow through. They preach ideologies that make us think of unsustainable Utopias that we know deep down will never actually eventuate purely because human nature, amongst the billions of us on Earth, simply does not allow for it. Anyone surprised or huffy when a politician breaks a campaign promise has only themselves to blame. It's part and parcel, I'm afraid.
But what I am really thinking of today is that old chestnut of romance. We never say what we feel when we should, and for that matter usually only one person will get to be honest, especially if it is a conflict of interest to what was discussed or understood. I was horrified and angry to realise that virtually every encounter of that kind with a man has been dictated not by what I thought or wanted, but but heir opinions, their ideals. My feminist brain leapt from the Harbour Bridge in dismay and horror. How could I have never noticed it before? How could I have not known, or realised?
What I want, what I think and what I feel are three things that are damn well just as important as any man's alternatives.
You don't fancy me? Fine, but I fancy you. You don't want more than a casual fling? Good for you, but I do. You want to expect something and then assume it's ok to never call? Nope, sorry but it's not.
I can't change the way that other people feel or what they think, but my opinion is just as valid as theirs. I deserve to get my way as much as they do. If someone doesn't fancy me as much as I do them I can't help that either, but it's my prerogative of course to not settle for the half-assed alternative that they offer me.
Maybe when I meet them I will want to make it work even though it will be hard. I will compromise, I will make the effort. Because maybe when they come along I will know that I love them, and if they don't want to hear it because it's too hard to make it work? Well then maybe that's just too bad because my opinion is as important as yours. And you can't change how I feel.
We never say what we really feel, but sometimes we don't want to listen to the truth.