Awkward Pilbara Tales, Volume I

Working in the Outback can be hard; it's hot, dusty, sweaty, rough and so covered in red it can sometimes be a real kicker to get out of bed every day with a smile.

But with all the difficulties and hard days on the job come so many stories of awkward misadventures, fails and honest good times. I could probably write a book with multiple volumes just about all the fun memories, ridiculous comments and awkward moments made by both myself and everyone else. 

Obviously I won't name any names, but I'll give you a couple of examples (and they aren't always me, but I won't say which ones are!): 

- Falling backwards down a cliff face when trying to pee.

- Ripping a hole in the butt of work pants on a rock whilst reclining.

- "Wouldn't it be lovely to go to work and wear streamers"

-Tearing off your underwear by pulling too hard on them in the morning, only to spend the rest of the day going commando.

- "I'm a dick city"

- Dropping your radio into a creek and having to swim around to find it.

- Tossing a chicken bone onto the ground only to have a wedge-tailed eagle fly out of nowhere and snatch it.

- Walking around the corner to witness team members bent over extracting spinifex out of each other's asses.

- Peeing on your work radio or first aid kit.

- Being chased by wildlife, such as cows...or emus.

- The short-lived breathalyser guy who would hold the machine and give awkward tidings like 'blow harder' or 'don't you wish it tasted like chocolate'.

- Having everybody at the wet mess wish you happy birthday with a cake...when it's not your birthday.

- Peeing near a main road only to have someone drive past you and see...everything.
- Losing a member of the team only to stumble across them...mid-steam.
- Being pushed backwards, or catapulted off an esky while reclining.
- Making suspenders out of string because you forgot to bring a belt.
- Speeding down the highway in a race against time on a litre of petrol.
- Missing the turn off by over 10 km when you take it everyday.

There are so many more stories I could tell you filled with in-jokes and all sorts of awkward hilarity spurned by too many hours in the sun, tedious days or way too much time spent with the same people. The brunt of the Pilbara life is that in no time at all these people become like your family and it's hard for anyone on the outside to always tell what its like. Rest assured - it's mental.

Whether your attempt to jump over a spinifex bush has gone wrong, your wet hat smells so bad you think something's died in the car, or your clever April Fool's Day prank has caused an entire team to freak out, life in the outback is so full of life.

We may be out there recording the distant and not-so distant past, but we're also creating our own histories too. Plus there's so much dirt on the rest of my team hidden within the pages of Awkward Pilbara Tales that I wouldn't even know where to begin.

My job can be so awesome sometimes.

Sam xox