Mim doesn't understand modern invention part one.

 Mimotosef the were-cat was stuck as a cat for about three thousand years...so he doesn't really understand modern colloquialism or inventions. This is just another little teaser from Operation Osiris, in which Mim's faux pas causes hilarity for Daph. Enjoy! And remember, it's all unedited!

By the time I got back to the Plaza and was soaking in a bubble bath specifically designed to calm the muscles aching from carrying the files so far, I was no closer to being less pissed off, and not even the thought of getting dressed up and seeing a show was helping.

I imagined Roy thought he was helping his pal, Eric, but I was going to knock his pearly whites out when he came to pick me up in an hour. Or I was going to tell that blonde he’d met that Roy had herpes. Or lice.

Something icky.

James was drifting in an out of the bathroom, reading Arthur Conan Doyle with pipe in hand, and occasionally marvelling over something amusing that Holmes had said.

I’d have asked him to read it aloud to me if the only thing between him and him seeing me in all my naked glory was something more substantial than a couple of bubbles.

I had my hair up on top of my head to keep it from getting wet, and closed my eyes. The hot water was finally starting to soothe me and I sighed.

It had already been a long day – overnight flight from London, full day of sightseeing and Museum activities. And that wasn’t even including the disturbing imagery of Nailah’s final moments, Adarian’s surprise visit or Eric’s mind games.

None of which I had told Mim about yet, even though he was stretched out on my bed filtering through some New York brochure he’d pilfered from the lobby.

From what I’d gathered of what James told me, after my anger over the spooked maid incident, Mim had gone downstairs in human form to patrol the perimeter – despite my warning.

Whilst down there, he’d dazzled a couple of the hotel maids with his brash masculinity and aloof, and they’d all offered their help when he’d asked for maps of the city. Which was why he now had about five different maps, a collection of tourist brochures, and a bunch of vouchers for free stuff. I’d told him off, but was secretly pleased for the promise of free stuff. Poor girls didn’t even know what hit ‘em.

I waited for James to drift out again, scowling over some section of the text, before raising from the tub and wrapping a towel around my body. I’d hung my dress on the back of the door with my underthings beside it, assuring I could just get dressed in here and preserve at least some dignity for today.

Since it was Broadway, the idea was to suit up in style, and the dress I’d chosen for night one was a sleek emerald green satin A-line skirt with an empire waist. It was retro looking, perfect for the 1960’s theme of the musical.

I dried off and had the dress zipped up before James floated back in, book gone and pipe replaced with what looked like a small foil packet.

“Mimotosef has asked me to bring you this – one of the girls he spoke to this afternoon gave it to him, and told him it was for pleasure and relaxation.”

I opened my hand to accept what James offered, and looked down at it in confusion. Realisation dawned, and with it the utter hilarity of the situation made me burst out in a fit of laughter.

In my hand was an unopened condom packet.

Apparently one of the girls had given Mim the ultimate come on, and he hadn’t even realised.  

James’ eyes twinkled in amusement as I had to hold my sides to keep them from splitting, and threw open the bathroom door to point at Mim, who looked up from when he was on the bed in confusion.

“Did you not like my gift, Priestess?”

“Mim, this is a condom!”

“I do not understand.”

I laughed harder.

“Priestess, I do not understand what is so amusing.”

“Mim,” I said breathlessly, between giggles. “The girl who gave you this...meant for you to sleep with her! She...fancies you!”

Mim gazed back, perplexed. “Sleep with?”

“Have sex, mate with, make love to! She wanted you to be her lover!”

Mim’s eyes widened in sudden understanding, the image only making me laugh even harder, and rose to his feet. “Forgive me, Priestess! I did not mean to encourage those maidens!”

James, who had followed me back into the bedroom when I’d bolted out of the bathroom, rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Relax, Mim, you are only encouraging her to laugh more.”

“But I do not make love to maidens when I am protecting my Priestess!”

“Oh my god, stop!”

“Mimotosef, we are aware. Madam Priestess is only amused at your failure to comprehend modern invention – the ‘gift’ you gave is used to prevent pregnancy during intimacy.”

Mim’s eyes shifted to me, then back to James, and he asked: “But how?”

“I don’t quite understand myself, they are after my time, but from what I observed of Daphne and her beau what happens is –

            “Argh! James, shut up!” Suddenly, it wasn’t so funny anymore and I clapped a hand to my forehead. “Not the kind of thing to share!”

            “Red? What are we sharing?” Roy’s voice drifted through the doorway.

            “Argh! You two be quiet!” I hissed at the duo, then raced from the bedroom and pulled on my coat. As I moved to open the door to Roy, I realised that the condom was still in my hand and hastily shoved it into my pocket.

            “Mimotosef, I will explain later...”