Resolutions for 2023

Given the state of the world over the past 7-8 years (though arguably that could realistically be since the Big Bang) we’ve learnt not to make promises about the new year being the best or that it would bring a ‘new year, new you’. We hope for a generally good/fair year and anticipate that perhaps we can be better people. 

Or, you know, new year, same shit. 

Nothing magical happens at the stroke of midnight on December 31st - in any year. It just gives us the feeling that a new calendar year brings a fresh slate.

I fucked up this year, let’s hope the next one isn’t so bad. So to speak. 

My 2022 wasn’t the worst - it started on a bit of a low and has come back down to one over the past few weeks, but overall I’d say there’s been more good times than bad. 

I got kind of heart broken there at the beginning (no need to rehash except to be thankful it was better it could get too deep) and I made a few bad choices there as a result but mostly I reacted pretty well, I think. I used that hurt to fuel a lot of really positive things for myself and it led me to discover things about myself I hadn’t really realised or known before. 2022 was a year of discovery for the most part and somewhat boring in other parts. I’ve had both better and worse years.

So what did I learn? 

1. I’m demi and Pansexual. 

I like who I like regardless of their gender (though I’ve only dated/been intimate with men) and I need an emotional connection in order to be intimate. I’m on the asexuality scale - I never would have thought it so but since I aged out of my teen hormone days and gotten a little experience it definitely fits. I’m very low on the scale - I’m not asexual, but demi is a form of it. Refer to my post about it from March.

2. As much as I love being single, I do want a partner (sometimes). 

This one is difficult for me because sometimes being single can be so fucking hard, while the rest of the time it’s kind of the best. There are good and bad things to it but sometimes I can’t fight the feeling that yes, of course, it would be nice to have someone around. Then I see a couple of TT videos of women complaining about their crappy partners and I snap out of that and go about my day. 

It’s generally events like weddings that really punch me in the throat about being single. Temporarily though, until I can snap out of it. Remember though, there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio.

3. I need some new single, female friends. 

I love all of my friends, but I’m kind of running out of them in the sense that they’ve just about all paired off now, some married, some with kids. They don’t love me or I them any less but it’s just a different vibe now. I need some more people around in the same life stage as me - without a partner or kids. 

I’ve already started the ball rolling on that though.

4. I am perfectly happy never having children. 

We spoke about this one not that long ago. I like the children of the people I care about and I love to help out with them. I don’t, however, have the urge to have my own. And luckily for me that I don’t because I’m single, 33 this year and not in the financial space for something like IVF. That in mind, I have been told that should I want children I have a more than willing donar. 

I couldn’t guarantee never being a single parent even if I hard a partner, but it’s not something I want to set out for on purpose. Just not where I want my money or life to go, do you know what I mean?

Right person, right time - I’m open to it. But otherwise no thanks.

5. I have had no positive romantic experiences with men and it’s left me with an unfortunately skewed perception of interest. 

This one’s a doozy, but let’s just say it’s part of why I can’t handle dating (particularly on the apps/online) anymore.

6. Two dogs, especially one being a puppy, makes life harder but still very worthwhile. 

Though I’ve wanted to turf Matilda out of the window plenty of times since she came to live with us, I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She makes me and D’Artagnan happy.

Except for when she is eating the side of my new couch.

So that brings us to December of 2022 in time to make a few resolutions for the new year. Or rather a few goals, tentative intentions. Things to guide me on the right path for me. 

1. Make some new friends. 

Preferably single and female, but I’ll also take anyone from the LGBTQIA+ community. The only group I’m not setting out to intentionally make friends with (outside of existing circles, work, etc) is straight men. The why if it is worth a post in of itself for another day - I’m not against them, it’s just not the intention. 

Single women though, without kids, are the main group I’d like to meet new people within though.

2. Loose some weight. 

Before you get at me I’m not putting a number on this and I have no intention of using the scales. I’ve been too hung up on numbers in the past and it wasn’t generally good for me. 

I’ve just had a bit too much fun, overindulged and now some of my clothes don’t fit super well. First world problems, yes, but most of those clothes are new because I had to replace them and I am not replacing them again. So I just want to loose some weight in order to fit back into them comfortably. That’s all.

3. Practice healthy eating habits, consistent but moderate exercise and develop new mindful habits. 

Self explanatory, really. 

4. Read 100 books.

I only managed 71 this year which is pretty low for me. I like a nice round number as a goal. 

5. Save money.

No unnecessary clothes, makeup, skincare, dog toys/treats, etc beyond what I actually need or need to replace. I need to start building my actual financial portfolio so I don’t have a panic attack and breakdown over the cost of living.

6. No dating apps/online.

Look, in over 10 years they haven’t served me well at all and only contributed to worsening my mental health. I’m not closed off to dating or meeting someone, I’m just not doing the app thing anymore. 

Meeting someone on the apps is the exception, not the rule. It is not in the interest of the apps for you to meet someone and never return (it’s a financial loss for them). And, lastly, as a demi girl with an inability to properly gauge interest or genuine intention it’s not safe for me. 

I shouldn’t have to put myself through this torture when the majority of my friends did not meet their partners online. I’m not the exception. 

7. Continue Spanish.

I wasn’t dropping the ball here in the first place, but I don’t want to. I’ve barely reached intermediate on Duo.

I need to get good for Mexico.

I’m sure as the year goes on there will be more intentions and goals, as e are constantly changing. But for now those are the big ones.

What are yours? 

Sam xox