Cinderella

I'd say I was sorry for keeping you on suspense again for so long, but I think by now we'd both know that when the going gets crazy I'm ridiculously slack with blog updates.

Not that I don't love you.

In some ways nothing has changed since we were last together, although in others the world has titles drastically. I'll leave the specifics to the imagination but suffice it to say, as always, I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

I still work out 3 times a week. I'm a lot stronger and muscular than when I started, not particularly any skinnier or lighter but I haven't had a lot of focus on cardio to get there. I've decided to increase that side of things this week - a trial as I'm not exactly fond of cardio after all. Health wise - things are as they have been. I'm healthier than I was and my intensive gym membership is paying off heavily in confidence boost, friendships and wellbeing. The crazy weight loss will come later, once we shake up the cardio a little more. 

When we come to work, life and love - what is the number one thing I have to say? I have no idea.

That's it: I have no idea. 

I made some wishes that came true, to a T, almost in spite of me and whilst I am so happy for what I received I am...well, unsatisfied. I got my wish but I wished for the wrong thing. It was a classic example of being careful what you wish for; to be more specific or else pay the devil. My wish was everything I had asked for, but I definitely sold myself short in the asking. 

Though now that those days (a crazy couple of weeks surrounding my 25th birthday in Perth and Tokyo) have ended, I am almost like a new woman. I feel, act and think far differently to the way I did back then. Like a veil or lid was removed on this whole other part of me that I never knew about. I like this new version of me, I'm still getting to know her, but I like her. 

I've thought of myself, all attempted arrogance aside, as an ugly duckling. For so long I considered myself less than attractive or worthy or loveable. I strived to be a good person because I figured I was nothing if not kind, and unattractive people had no reason to be cruel. I still think so, and I still strive to be kind, but I no longer think that I am so unattractive that I need to compensate with politeness. I think that this ugly duckling finally became a swan. 

I am the independent woman, princess and sex goddess I always hoped I would be growing up. It just took a little time and perseverance to get myself there. That is not to say that I'm my ideal weight, I suddenly know how to put makeup on properly or that I've survived a bikini wax. But what it does mean is that I am happy with myself; I came out of my box (Pandora's), I am unleashed. 

And all just in time for a ball. 

A work ball.

There was no evil stepmother, no step sisters and no crazy tasks to achieve. No animal friends to make my dress. No pumpkin. And perhaps no Prince Charming waiting in Melbourne for me by the stroke of midnight.

But it doesn't matter. I overcame odds, I conjured my own dress, I saved my own day with the help of a very unlikely fairy godmother, and I will show my own self a good time. 

I feel just like Cinderella - a modern one. An independent one. Far from the Brother's Grimm fairytale steeped in misery and much more like the romantic Disney version. 

Perhaps I will leave a shoe on the stairs for the future to find. 

Sam xox