Singledom, Irony and Interpretation Pt Deux

The joke’s on me again because I really did think for this time that the guy who seemed interested, everyone at the Meet Up thought he was interested, was actually romantically interested. He of course, was not - romantically, anyway.

Which is ok! I just thought I was getting better at being patient and interpreting romantic interest which I’ve been working on in therapy. But I guess I still have a long way to go.

It’s not the end of the world and I am kind of disappointed but, as I’ve said every other time, I’ve been here before. I genuinely do feel like I want to give up though and just wholeheartedly embrace the single life because it’s great and it’s not as painful or confusing. Think of it like choosing to stop doing the hurdle race (when you can’t get past the first hurdle ever). Choosing your battles and knowing when to quit and all that. 

As ok as it is, I do feel like an idiot. How can I not? If I thought what happened as Christmas time was kind of a ‘fuck you’ from the universe then this absolutely is, too. Why does the universe always want to knock me down a peg  when I’m just trying to life my best single life by throwing me great men who don’t like me but let me think they do for a while (either intentionally or not). Can you just not? 

So, what do I do now? Well, nothing really but at least I have clarity when I didn’t before. I can move on and I’ve made a new friend. 

I feel like it’s important to reiterate here that being single still is a great place to be - I don’t think it’s any less so because I’ve faced yet another romantic disappointment. I’ve got so many plans already for the year and work is ramping up so much I probably don’t have enough time to live my best life with my friends, maintain a consistent work, exercise, food and sleep schedule, give my dog the attention he needs, and also begin a new romantic relationship - especially because I am fickle AF. I’m fine - I’ll get over it. 

Ironic though still - it’s the same joke I just keep falling for and I really hate what that says about me. 

Sam xox