The Cost Inequality

I have spent the whole week feeling like I’ve been dying. Still not the spicy cough though; just back to basics with a really retro flu. Vintage. 

I’m not on the train this time, just at the salon getting my hair done (I called ahead to make sure they wouldn’t kick my sniffly ass out). It’s been 6 months since my last appointment and I’ve really been hanging out for it. I think I would have cried if they’d told me I couldn’t come in. 

In other news though I can finally afford to come more frequently than every 6 months. Maybe every 3 instead. Fancy.

So, I’ve been thinking - and this is not something I’ve self-realised, but something I’ve seen bouncing around in single forums a bit. But there is actually a huge cost inequality when it comes to being a single person. Here are a few examples of the times when it has cost me more as a single person:

Travelling 

Travelling solo is amazing and a I strongly recommend it. However, as a single person if you intend to do guided tours, stay at hotels, cruise or any number of other things, it actually costs more if you’re alone. A lot of these things will be charged at a twin-share cost and meant to be split, so if you’re solo you’ll pay on average 25-50% more (ie the total cost of the room vs splitting by half). 

My remedy for this is travelling with friends or just going the hostel route and picking options designed for backpackers or the like. I’ve recently discovered a company called Flashpack, which is specifically designed at solo travellers. It’s not a dating forum, but it’s for all of the people who want to travel and don’t want the associated ‘solo tax’ that comes with it. I’m keen to try it out in the future.

Otherwise, as a solo traveller, be prepared ro pay a little extra. 

Events and celebrations 

This is a bit of a controversial one that I strongly want to preface with a warning. I love my friends and family and I love celebrating their big life events and achievements with them. You are all important to me and I will always want to celebrate with you. 

But here’s the thing. Weddings, babies, engagements, anniversaries, etc. All of these things cost money whether it’s to attend (ie travel, clothing etc), to participate (dinners, drinks, etc) and in gifting. 

I love giving friends gifts and going out to events in their honour - I really do. I’m an inherently social person and it brings me the most joy to be with the people I care about. 

However, I may never celebrate any of these things. It’s not me being pessimistic here, just realistic. I’ll celebrate them for everyone else that wants to include me (and I will always be grateful to be included), but it’s likely that I won’t celebrate them for myself. Whatever happens, happens.

But that is sort of the point I want to make - I invest a lot of time and money into celebrating things for the people I love. I don’t do it for a return, but I would still love people to celebrate my milestones with me. My promotions, my new pets, my pet’s birthday, my birthday, whatever I can celebrate. Irrespective of how happy I am to celebrate for my friends, there is still a huge financial inequality when it comes to what I celebrate for them vs what they do for me. There’s no other way to say it. 

Purchasing property and renting 

Look the property market is not great for my generation. Whatever argument you want to make about us spending money on stuff and travel and coffee and avocado, the truth of the matter is that the cost of living and housing has risen much faster and higher than wages. Buying a house is hard (not impossible), even more so on a single income. 

I know plenty of couples who move in together to split the rent because it financially makes sense. It does, I’m not arguing. But as a single person I don’t have that same option. Yes, I can live with friends or random strangers to save on rent, but those are temporary situations usually. Friends may move out to live with their partners and strangers may just generally move on. 

If I don’t want to rent I’ll need to buy - and up until recently I couldn’t even dream of affording that on my meagre  salary. I am very lucky in having family who’ve helped, but without that it would have been a very, very long time in saving. I’m talking over 20 years - based on that salary and it being my only income. 

All the above lead to a related issue - disposable income. If you’re single, and you don’t get paid much, you end up with less. Everyone’s got their expenses for sure - but if you’re footing the cost of all the bills you’re likely left over with less than someone (especially of the same general income) who’s splitting bills. 

There’s really no real purpose here in my bringing this up except to make people aware. I love solo travelling and I know my way around enough in doing it to know what to avoid financially. I love to celebrate my friends and family and I’m the kind of person who will start using the credit card and my savings to keep being a part of their big events (do not follow me for financial advice). And most of all I’ve reached a place now where I can reasonably comfortably live alone - though I do foot all the bills myself (except strata which I split with my family). 

All I want from people is to understand that sometimes times are tough. On an emotional level sometimes it’s hard to see my loved ones celebrate these milestones, but it’s also a financial burden sometimes, too - one that I’ll wear still, but wanting to join doesn’t make it easier to pay for them. If money was no object I’d be rocking up to every event with a huge gift in a stretch limo. Hell, I’d probably be throwing the event at my country estate and giving the most classy party favours (think Bridesmaids). But unfortunately it’s not the reality. 

This is not a post to sulk about being single - I’m not at all sulking about being single. But whether we want to hear it or not there is a real financial inequality to being single than being with a partner.

Also, it would also be cool if you celebrate my big wins in life with me sometimes, too (I know those that can already do, and please never stop). 

Reach out to the singles in your life and check in. Buy them a coffee to say you get it (if they want that - some of us out there are living the dream, honestly). 

I dunno, just something to think about. 

Sam xox