Teaser Time: The Brothers in the Woods

Here's a little scene I wrote late last night while watching some scary television. It's a particularly important aspect of the story, but let's see if I was clear enough in what is happening.

I will reiterate though that NaNo stuff is all unedited and I do welcome ideas and constructive criticism - so long as it is actually constructive.

The Brothers in the Woods

Will and his brother had had far more drink than they supposed they should have imbibed. The differences between day and night had blurred and the grey alleys had become green forest. They weren’t sure anymore what was up and what was down.

They continued to walk for what seemed like hours before a small cottage finally came into view.

Will’s brother hauled them both to a stop, a warning on his lips that died away when the sweet smell of baked gingerbread drifted across to them on the wind.

Will’s stomach began to rumble and the anticipation of the sweets enticed him closer, ignoring the sudden anxiety that had gripped his brother.

“Will, I do not like this,” he said, and tried to take his hand. “We have wandered far from the town and into the woods where all manner of dangers exist. I do not trust what my eyes see and my nose smells; there is no comfort to be had in that cottage, I am sure of it.”

“You are only afraid, my brother,” Will told him and continued on towards the cottage, releasing himself from the bony grasp of his brother’s hand.

“I do not like this, Will!” He repeated, cursing and huffing after him as they reached the cottage.

Will knocked on the door, his mouth beginning to water now from the smell; it was so strong that it was almost as if the house was made of it, the smell so consumed them both that even Will’s brother was soon hard pressed to resist.

“Who is it?”

Will stated their names and waited a moment before the door opened a crack. A small wizened old woman stood stiffly on the other side of the entrance. She was dressed all in black and had such long tangled grey hair that she appeared as almost other than human so exaggerated were her features.

“We are sorry to come across you in this manner, madam,” Will continued to explain, indicating that they were lost and hungry in these unfamiliar woods.

“I can see indeed you poor fellows,” the old woman gasped and threw the door open to admit them. “Come inside and warm yourselves by my fire. I have baked fresh sweets and truly it is all far too much for just one old woman such as I and my maiden.”

The maiden mentioned rose as the brothers entered the small cottage. She had short straw-coloured hair mussed with grime and wore tattered clothing that had seen one too many repairs. She wore no jewellery or flair but for two identical bangles on each wrist that appeared to weigh her arms down uncomfortable (note: these are spelled bangles that prevent Gretzanel from being able to escape the Candy witch). At the sight of Will and his brother she appeared dismayed and almost angry.

“You should not have come!” She railed, her arms waving around in frustration at the sight of them. “You will be sorry for your rash choices now!”

Will’s brother, a champion of the meek, was affronted and further anxious than he ever was before. He tapped Will furiously in angst to render his unease as best he could.

The old woman sprang towards the maiden and tugged her by the hair, forcing her harshly to the back of the cottage and behind a curtain out of sight. “You hush, Gretzanel, or I will punish your disobedience for the last time!”

A scuffle sounded before the old woman returned and all behind the curtain was quiet. “Do forgive the maiden, Gretzanel,” she told them with a wry smile. “I fear she suffers from demons and she rails until I calm her.” And satisfied that she had curbed their questions with her very brief explanation, the old woman crossed to the hearth and retrieved what looked, to Will, as the most heavily biscuits he had ever seen. “Gingerbread, sirs?”

And with that first taste the brothers were entrapped.

For days neither Will nor his brother had slept, and each evening before she extinguished the candles the old witch would measure Will’s waistline to ensure he was fattening. Will’s brother, much too bony for her taste, had become her slave with the same cursed bangles pained to his wrists that the unfortunate Gretzanel had worn on their first evening in the Gingerbread house, as the brothers would later remember it.

Gretzanel had not been saved, as one would have hoped, and rather she was banished further to a small cage in the corner of the cottage barely larger than she. Her insubordination, her attempts to warn the brothers from the cottage, had angered the witch enough to punish her greatly. The slave’s work that was usually carried out by Gretzanel had been forced upon Will’s brother whilst the maiden slowly starved within her cage.

But this last evening Will’s brother conducted a cunning plan; he would defeat this grizzly old woman, save the maiden and take his brother home.

All it took in the end was the hearth that the witch used to cook her wretched sweets in.

Sam xox