The clock

Time is a strange thing. As one character from Angel once said, "there is so little and so much of it". Now that is completely true, as we all know. How often do we think time flies or time crawls? It's the one thing that will consistently do the opposite of what you want it to do; speed up when you're having fun because you're not aware of it, and slow right down when you're hoping for it to pass more quickly. 

Time can be hell on earth, or nirvana depending on how you look at it. It can be jaded, understanding and comforting. It can be the difference between unbelievable pain and ultimate salvation. But you know what else it can be? A limit, an expiry. A countdown. 

How many of us countdown, every day, in one way or another. Most of the time it's us who count down time, but what about those other instances when time counts us down? 

Fate, destiny, body clock. Time might be relative but we never have control of it even if we trick ourselves into believing we can by inventing clocks and sundials and keeping busy. We can't stop it, we can't rewind. But most importantly of all we can't predict what time will do. 

Sometimes I think about that. That time is running out and the clock is ticking. But it's not always this frightening as it has been recently. I'm not usually afraid of the future, but sometimes, even for a little while, I am. And right now is one of those times. What will happen to me when this clock runs out? It was easier to ignore when it was a year ago, a safety net almost. But now?

There's so little time left and for once I'm terrified of that unknown. 

Sam xox